


Where You (Don't) Belong

by popotami



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars The Force Awakens, star wars the last jedi
Genre: Finnpoe - Freeform, M/M, Stormpilot, i hate rian johnon, paige specifically doesn't die though, rian johnson u a pussy ass talentless stupid goofy ass, so glad the deleted scenes dont exist wow tlj could've been worse it turns out, subtle finnpoe, this is super super short but im bitter so, tlj except finn isnt a donkey, tlj except poe isnt an egotistical maniac, trans Finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 08:23:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13971114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popotami/pseuds/popotami
Summary: Finn isn’t even Resistance; he doesn’t fit in here. He doesn’t fit in anywhere. He doesn’t want to be Resistance. He didn’t feel right- this doesn’t feel right. He didn’t leave an army just to join another one. This was all one big cycle, he thinks. Doomed to repeat itself again and again. Always running, always fighting. He would love to have the luxury of being selfish. Wonder what that’s like.





	Where You (Don't) Belong

**Author's Note:**

> rian johnson suck my toe challenge

“ So you did… blow it up right? The base. Rey beat Kylo and now the Resistance has the map, you won right? Then, why doesn’t this feel like winning-? ” Finn asks, keeping up with Poe as he speeds down the corridor.

He’s just walking, but he’s covering ground fast. It’s more of a hustle. Something didn’t feel right. He wants to grab Poe’s arm, get him to stop. How much happened while he was out? Surely, they must’ve won by now. The war’s over, Rey’s with Luke. Kylo’s dead.  _Happy, happy, happy_. Finn’s lying to himself. 

A knot in his stomach refuses to let him continue his ridiculous thoughts.

“ We came out of hiding to attack Starkiller. It didn’t take long for the First Order to find our base. And now, we gotta regroup and go back at ‘em,” Poe stops in the middle of the hallway, gesturing with his hands. Finn comes to a halt with him.

“ Woah, Poe-” Finn takes a step forward, raising his own hands in apology. “Poe, I believe in what you guys are doing here, but I didn’t join this army. I don’t want you to believe me to be something I’m not-” The urgency increases as the words rush out of his mouth.

Finn isn’t even Resistance; he doesn’t fit in here. He doesn’t fit in anywhere. He doesn’t want to be Resistance. He didn’t feel right- this doesn’t feel right. He didn’t  **leave**  an army just to join another one. This was all one big cycle, he thinks. Doomed to repeat itself again and again. Always running, always fighting. He would love to have the luxury of being selfish. Wonder what that’s like.

“  _-hey, hey, hey-_  it’s fine, you’re alright. You’re here with us,” Poe says. “Where you belong.”

That wasn’t the answer he was looking for. Finn sighs softly. He knows thats what Poe probably _thinks_ he wants to hear. It's well-intentioned, but it's not comforting in the slightest. He almost winces at the word "belong", hopefully Poe doesn't notice. Finn knows tensions are high right now. He knows that, but he needs Poe to listen to him. He wasn’t listening. He’s being really weird. Squirrely. Jumpy. Finn shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak again-

“ I got you a little something,” Poe stops in the middle of the hallway. “ It’s not much, but y’know…  _war against fascism_.”

Poe pulls out the item he was hiding from under his arm. It’s folded. Looks like clothing. He hands it to Finn, holding it fondly.

“ It’s your jacket,” Poe smiles. “ I’m not much of a tailor, but if you hold it under the right light- maybe squint a little-”

He closes his mouth and looks down at the offering, taking it into his own hands. It’s not stitched together. It’s  _stapled_. Finn runs his hands over the metal clips thoughtfully. He goes to pull on the seam- gently- testing its strength. Poe’s still talking, something about how a stapler was probably better anyways. More industrial. Has more personality. Looks… cooler. He’s going a mile a minute, hands waving about frantically.

“ It’s great,” Finn says through a smile. “I love it.”

“  _What-?_ ” Poe freezes.

“ I said it’s great, Poe. Thank you,” He’s already putting it on, pulling one arm through a sleeve.

“ Yea…? You think so? ”

Finn nods. Poe’s speechless. He gave it his best shot but in all seriousness, he thought he did a makeshift job. He’s never touched a needle and thread before in his life. He had to dig through his toolkit to find something that would do the job. Finn doesn’t seem to mind though. He loves it.

“ Well… I didn’t want you to have to fix it on your own. ‘specially after Starkiller, it’s the least I could do,” Poe says. “ You needed all the rest you could get,”

Did Poe think he owed him-? Is that what this was? He hoped it wasn’t. Maybe it wasn’t- but it sure did sound that way. He didn’t want this to be a “you scratch my back, I scratch yours” operation. Finn was probably just reading too far into it.

“ Thanks, Poe… really,” Finn says for the second time. “Better than the original.”

“  _That_  and I really can’t have you stealing another one of my jackets,” Poe says. 

Finn snorts. 

Oh, yeah…. Starkiller. 

Being knocked unconscious was the best thing to happen to him. He misses it already. It meant peace and quiet for once. You don’t think about anything when you’re out. You don’t even remember. Your mind doesn’t race, you don’t worry about what’s to come, your hands don’t shake… there were no dreams. No nightmares. No  _war_. You just exist. If only for 3 measly hours. Time seemed to pass so slowly. 

“ Taking a saber to the back like a champ,” Poe says.

He wishes he could’ve done more before being put down into the snow. It’s embarrassing when he thinks about it for too long. How foolish he must’ve looked, thinking he could take Kylo on. Rey wouldn’t think so though. He knows she wouldn’t. Poe had already gassed him up enough on his own.

“ If you call a trauma-induced nap  _taking it like a champ_ ,” Finn replies a little too quickly.

Finn’s got bits of metal running through his body, entwined with his own spinal cord in an effort to keep things from getting worse. He dons a diagonal slash right across his back with a burn on his shoulder, near his collarbone. Even now, he can feel the fresh scar tissue stretch: a lingering burn that reminds him of what he couldn’t do.

“ Yeah, you’re right, my bad- totally, too soon, too soon,” Poe unfolds his arms, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry…  _damn_.”

“ You okay-?” He asks, squinting. “ You’re being weird.”

Poe crosses his arms, holding them tightly against his chest. He works his jaw, gaze shifting away from Finn and to the fifteenth person about to cut in between them. Finn stares. Something must’ve happened while he was out.

“ Yea, I’m, uh… some bad shit happened earlier. Really…  **bad** shit,” Poe swallows.

It’s harsh. Finn can hear the sound travel down his gullet. He can only assume there were casualties, maybe a lot… maybe on Poe’s watch. People are running around all over the ship; they’d nearly been mowed over twice just by standing there talking. He can only imagine what went down no more than an hour ago.

“ I don’t wanna get into it now, you don’t need to stress yourself out,” He then clears his throat.

If he doesn’t want to talk about it, Finn won’t try to pry it out of him. Poe’s a grown man. He would open up when he wanted to. He’s also the Commander. He’s probably used to dealing with this anyhow, in some respects. Though, Finn can’t possibly imagine that it gets any easier. Death is death; it sucks. That’s his team- his fleet.

“ I know you did everything you could,” Finn says, reaching up to clasp a hand on Poe’s shoulder. He squeezes it gently. 

Poe’s a more than competent commander, Finn knows that. He cares about his fleet, those are his people. His family. 

There’s a beat. They're just staring at each other before Poe cuts the silence. 

“ … thanks…Finn, ” He inhales. Finn was expecting a "buddy", though it never comes. “Well, enough about me… how’re you feeling? You hungry-? Lightheaded? Nauseous? ”

Finn shakes his head. “ I’m fine. Just… a little sore.”

“ Yeah, well… take it easy,” Poe playfully pounds him dead in the chest. “I need you in one piece, alright?”

Tell that to Kylo Ren.

And besides, as long as Rey was still out there. He would do anything it takes to see her again. Make sure she’s safe. Selfless and good, as he is. Finn wishes he weren’t always this way, not all the time. Self sacrifice and what not. Putting his own life on the back burner for people he just met. Call it a blessing or a curse.

“ I can’t make any promises,” Finn smiles. It’s bittersweet.

“ Well, not with that attitude,” Poe says. “ Don’t do anything reckless. That’s an order.”

 _“I don’t work here, Poe,”_ He wants to say. 

“ You know I have a hard time following orders,” Finn replies.

“  _Alright- alright,_  come on, hot shot,” Poe laughs. “General wants to speak with us. I’m sure she’ll be more than relieved to see you,” He picks up his pace again, Finn at his side. 


End file.
